QUARANTINE DIARY
January 1st: This is my year!
March 18th: Wiping my butt with coffee filters!
Day 1: I have stocked up on enough food and supplies
to last for months, perhaps years.
+45min: I made a necessary trip to the store because I need a twinkie.
Day 5: Opening my 10th bottle of wine. I fear my supplies will not last.
Day 12: Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds.
Who Knew?
Day 19: 8:00 PM... Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas
Day 26: Laughing way too much at my own jokes!
Day 33: I get to take the Garbage out.
I"m so excited, I can"t decide what to wear!
Day 40: I realized why dogs get so excited about something outside, going for walks or car rides. I think I just barked at a squirrel.
Day 47: Went to a restaurant called "The Kitchen."
You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal.
I have NO clue how it STAYS open.
Day 54: If I keep a glass of wine in each hand,
I can"t accidentally touch my face. Who woulda thought it!
Day 61: I put liquor bottles in every room.
Tonight, I"m getting dressed and going bar hopping.
Day 68: Watched a couple of birds fight over a worm today.
The Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3-1.
Day 75: Struck up a conversation with a Spider today.
Seems nice. He's a web designer.
Day 82: To my husband... Your mission, should you choose to accept it,
is to lacate a roll of toilet paper.
This message will self-flush in 5 seconds.
Day 89: Talking to my neighbor thru the window
Due to social distancing guidlines, you may kneel or bow (from a safe distance).
Day 96: My fridge just groaned, and hissed at me...
"Not you Again!"
Day 16: People say nothing is impossible,
boy have I proved them wrong. I do nothing every day.
Day 23: Quarantine is not a four letter word,
but my reaction to it is!
Day 30: I put on my nice leggings, I'm going to the mailbox.
Day 37: Can we uninstall 2020 and install it again?
This version has a virus!
Day 43: If you see me talking to myself this week,
mind your own business. I'm having a parent-teacher conference.
Day 50: I am keeping myself busy.
Counting scraps of paper blowing across the street!
Day 57: I am trying to decide my next travel destination?
Las Kitchenas, Los Lounges, Santa Bedrooms, Porto Gardenas, Los Bed, or Costa Del Balconia
Day 64: I was told today that my test came back positive, but I know that can't be true!
I still have more than 300 rolls of toilet paper.
Day 71: I just emailed all my friends...
Can we all just agree to gain 15 pounds. That way none of us have to feel bad about it.
Day 78: My husband is treating the quarantine like a prison sentence.
Bulking up. Reading books. Refusing to shower!
Day 12: I know the virus is scary! But since I have been working at home, I found something even worse.
A 4 year-old dressed like Spiderman perched on the kitchen table behind you.
Day 85: I got tired of my kids barging in my home office while I was trying to get some work done. I found that placing underwear on the doorknob, works wonders!
Day 92: Slow danced with a stuffed animal today.
Day 103: Heard a weird noise coming from under my bed but nothing moved. I said quitely, "Hope it's a ghost, at least we will have someone new to talk to."
The ghost has not said a word. Will update when it does.
Day 99: I sent my husband to the grocery store to get essentials.
He came back with bananas and whisky.
Day 366: I met a young lady sitting on my couch yesterday, apparently she's my wife. She seems nice.
Day 730: Had a no-nonsense argument with my husband today about our Daughter's birthday.
We were both wrong!
