QUARANTINE DIARY
January 1, 2020: This is my year!
March 18, 2020: Wiping my butt with coffee filters!
Day 3, 9:15am: I have stocked up on enough food and supplies
to last for months, perhaps years.
Day 3, 11:30am: I made a necessary trip to the store because I needed a twinkie.
Day 5: Opening my 10th bottle of wine. I fear my supplies will not last.
Day 12: Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds.
Who Knew?
Day 19: 8:00 PM... Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas
Day 26: Laughing way too much at my own jokes!
Day 33: I get to take the Garbage out.
I"m so excited, I can"t decide what to wear!
Day 40: I realized why dogs get so excited about something outside, going for walks or car rides. I think I just barked at a squirrel.
Day 47: I ate 8 times and took five baths and its still today.
Day 54: If I keep a glass of wine in each hand,
I can"t accidentally touch my face. Who woulda thought it!
Day 61: I put liquor bottles in every room.
Tonight, I"m getting dressed and going bar hopping.
Day 68: Watched a couple of birds fight over a worm today.
The Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3-1.
Day 75: Struck up a conversation with a Spider today.
Seems nice. He's a web designer.
Day 82: To my husband... Your mission, should you choose to accept it,
is to lacate a roll of toilet paper.
This message will self-flush in 5 seconds.
Day 89: Talking to my neighbor thru the window
Due to social distancing guidlines, you may kneel or bow (from a safe distance).
Day 96: My fridge just groaned, and hissed at me...
"Not you Again!"
Day 16: People say nothing is impossible,
boy have I proved them wrong. I do nothing every day.
Day 23: Quarantine is not a four letter word,
but my reaction to it is!
Day 30: I put on my nice leggings, I'm going to the mailbox.
Day 370: Can tried to uninstall 2020 because of a virus!
Let's try again this year. It also has a virus!
Day 43: social distancing: I am sending risky texts just to get my heart rate up
Day 50: I am keeping myself busy.
Counting scraps of paper blowing across the street!
Day 57: I am trying to decide my next travel destination?
Las Kitchenas, Los Lounges, Santa Bedrooms, Porto Gardenas, Los Bed, or Costa Del Balconia
Day 64: I was told today that my test came back positive, but I know that can't be true!
I still have more than 300 rolls of toilet paper.
Day 71: I just emailed all my friends...
Can we all just agree to gain 15 pounds. That way none of us have to feel bad about it.
Day 78: My husband is treating the quarantine like a prison sentence.
Bulking up. Reading books. Refusing to shower!
Day 12: I know the virus is scary! But since I have been working at home, I found something even worse.
A 4 year-old dressed like Spiderman perched on the kitchen table behind me.
Day 85: I got tired of my kids barging in my home office while I was trying to get some work done. I found that placing underwear on the doorknob, works wonders!
Day 92: Slow danced with a stuffed animal today.
Day 103: Heard a weird noise coming from under my bed but nothing moved. I said quitely, "Hope it's a ghost, at least we will have someone new to talk to."
The ghost has not said a word. Will update when it does.
Day 99: I sent my husband to the grocery store to get essentials.
He came back with bananas and whisky.
Day 366: I met a young lady sitting on my couch yesterday, apparently she's my wife. She seems nice.
Day 730: Had a no-nonsense argument with my husband today about our Daughter's birthday.
We were both wrong!
Day 100: My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead.
I WAS THINKING
If 24 million people will die when Obama-care is repealed and only 11 million people subscribe to it,
will another 13 million be randomly selected and shot?
It is inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. I am a Republican!
If Democrats don't want foreigners involved in our elections, why do they think it is all right for illegals to vote?
Is it illegal to rob a bank in a Sanctuary City or is it just an Undocumented Withdrawal?
If we are supposed to call Welfare, Food Stamps, WIC and other government subsidies Entitlements. How did the individuals receiving those funds become "Entitled" to taxpayer-funds.
Social Security & Veterans Benefits are paid for by the recipients, so why do the Progressive Democrats believe they are gifts from the Government.
When people tell you, "It's as plain as the nose on your face," then I've got a real problem because I can't see much of my nose!
If Muslims want to run away from a Muslim country, does that mean they are Islamophobic? I've got to quit thinking!
If Socialist Progressives don't believe in biological gender, why did they march for women's rights?
Why is it that Democrat Progressives think Super delegates are fine, but they have a problem with the Electoral College?
If you cannot learn from the mistakes of the past, you must be a Progressive Socialist.
Is it true that if you are a liberal? It shows your immaturity.
If the Democrat Party wants to expose problems with our society Why do they diagnose and apply the wrong remedies.
Their sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which is par for Democrats. All nouns, no action.
If you are disgusted by politics and don't bother to vote, aren't you the problem?
Progressives trying to remove the Second Amendment from the Constitution are blind to those wanting to eliminate those portions of the Constitution the Progressives support.
If the government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, it stands to reason the Democrats are in the majority!
Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck! Well, did you vote?
If you are on government subsidies and prefer to remain so even with all of the rules and regulations you must abide by, isn't that a form of self-imposed slavery?
Democrats consider themselves progressive because they want CHANGE... including the guarantees they posseess in documents like our Constitution and Bill of Rights
Half of the Democrats lie with their lips; the other half with their tears!
When Democrats sway voters by appealing to their emotions, is that the reason Republicans lose when they appeal to voters with common sense and logic.
Freedom is something we take for granted in this country, but if we don't resist those who want to take it away.
Then the degree we resist becomes the degree to which we are free!
