REPUBLICAN PARTY OF LINCOLN COUNTY
"OFFICIAL CALL"
Pre-Primary Convention and Lincoln County Central Committee Members
To be held on January ??, 2022, beginning at 10:00 AM
More...
"OFFICIAL CALL"
Pre-Primary Convention and Lincoln County Central Committee Members
To be held on January ??, 2022, beginning at 10:00 AM
More...
Corny but Cute
I cant believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off.
All I did was take a day off.
My favorite Thanksgiving pie?
Pun kin!
Pun kin!
We squint at the sun because its bright.
We squint at people because they are not!
We squint at people because they are not!
Your girlfriend is like the square root of -100...
A solid 10 but imaginary.
A solid 10 but imaginary.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
In case he got a hole in one.
Why don't owls go on dates when it's raining?
Because it's too wet to woo.
Because it's too wet to woo.
I asked my wife if I should pick up Fish and Chips on the way home... she hung up on me!!!
Shes' still angry she let me name the kids.
Shes' still angry she let me name the kids.
Did the Russians know life was going to get worse under the Soviets?
There were lots of red flags!
There were lots of red flags!
My wife asked why I keep pacing in front of the clock...
I told her I was just passing time.
I told her I was just passing time.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
Not a fan.
Not a fan.
What's the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other oinkment.
One requires tweetment and the other oinkment.
How do you stop a bull from charging?
Cancel his credit card.
Cancel his credit card.
So many people these days are too judgemental.
I can tell just by looking at them.
I can tell just by looking at them.
My wife texted me this morning... Windows frozen!
I replied, just pour some warm water over it.
wife's reply: Computers fried now!
I replied, just pour some warm water over it.
wife's reply: Computers fried now!
Just before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernnels. My cremation is going to be verryy interesting!
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you're supposed to eat three squares a day.
Because you're supposed to eat three squares a day.
What washes up on tiny beaches?
Microwaves.
Microwaves.
The pessimist sees a tunnel. The optimist sees a light at the end of a tunnel. The realist sees a train...
The train engineer sees three idiots on the tracks.
The train engineer sees three idiots on the tracks.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Fish and ships.
My wife has stood by my side for 20 years.
I'm considering buying a second chair just for her!
I'm considering buying a second chair just for her!
When its sunny I think Beer garden, when it rains I think pub, and when it snows I think hot rum... I think I have a problem with the weather.
"I dropped the toothpaste" Tom said, Crestfallen.
Think old and you'll be old!
Think young, and you'll be a delusional old fart!
Think young, and you'll be a delusional old fart!
The worst part about parallel parking is the witnesses!
I know some are concerned about me running over geese?
But it gives me goose bumps.
But it gives me goose bumps.
The THC for the cheese I was making was stolen yesterday. They called it high whey robbery.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dino-snore.
A dino-snore.
My husband is furious at me for buying a make-your-own-perfume kit. But it just made scents to me.
When you're 16 and get that tingly sensation coz you're in love.
Thats common sense leaving your body.
Thats common sense leaving your body.
Just bought a boomerang from a ghost.
That'll come back to haunt me.
That'll come back to haunt me.
So, that stress ball you gave me, isn't for throwing at people who stress me out???
What was Icarus's favorite food?
Hot wings.
Hot wings.
I bought two bottles of Liquid Plumber...
$16 down the drain...
$16 down the drain...
I couldnt figure out how the seat belt worked.
Then it just clicked.
Then it just clicked.
Jokes about sausages are bad, but...
Jokes about German sausages are the wurst!
Jokes about German sausages are the wurst!
Some people think my puns are juvenile, but I prefer to think of them as Full Groan!
Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef...
Anyone can roast beef...
How does NASA organize a party?
They planet.
They planet.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving...
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice!!!
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice!!!
Every time I take more than my fair share, I break out in hives.
I must be allergic to selfish.
I must be allergic to selfish.
My wife is like a newspaper... there's a new issue Daily.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog... it croaks every day.
A frog... it croaks every day.
Soooooo happy the voices are back. The doctors said the medication would help, but it just made me lonely!
Why do people say "break a leg" when you go on stage... because every play has a cast.
Someone hacked my bank account and took everything I had.
It was a bad day for both of us!
It was a bad day for both of us!
There was a recent study that tried to pinpoint the effect that alcohol has on walking.
The results were staggering.
The results were staggering.
Have you ever wondered why the past, present, and future are always so tense?
My colleagues at work have given me the nickname Mr. Compromise.
It's not my first choice but I'm ok with it.
It's not my first choice but I'm ok with it.
If you lose one sense your other senses are enhanced. This is why people with no sense of humour have a heightened sense of self-importance.
When people tell you, "It's as plain as the nose on your face."
I've got a real problem cus I can't see much of my nose!
I've got a real problem cus I can't see much of my nose!
Thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians daily.
Help end the violence... eat bacon!
Help end the violence... eat bacon!
You remind me of my Chinese friend.
Ug Lee.
Ug Lee.
I love you from my head tomatoes.
I'm afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron.
Don't rush me... I'm still deciding whether to be productive today or not.
Next time a stranger talks to me when I'm alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper quietly, "You can see me?"
I just stepped on a cornflake.
Now, I am officially a cereal killer.
Now, I am officially a cereal killer.
I have not lost my mind!
Half of it just wandered off and the other half went looking for it.
Half of it just wandered off and the other half went looking for it.
A negative person sees the glass half empty. A positive person sees it half full.
A realistic person adds two shots of whiskey and says cheers!
A realistic person adds two shots of whiskey and says cheers!
I want that job
Where I push scared skydivers out of planes... HeHeHe!
Where I push scared skydivers out of planes... HeHeHe!
QUARANTINE DIARY
January 1, 2020: This is my year!
March 18, 2020: Wiping my butt with coffee filters!
March 18, 2020: Wiping my butt with coffee filters!
Day 3, 9:15am: I have stocked up on enough food and supplies
to last for months, perhaps years.
Day 3, 11:30am: I made a necessary trip to the store because I needed a twinkie.
to last for months, perhaps years.
Day 3, 11:30am: I made a necessary trip to the store because I needed a twinkie.
Day 5: Opening my 10th bottle of wine. I fear my supplies will not last.
Day 12: Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds.
Who Knew?
Who Knew?
Day 19: 8:00 PM... Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas
Day 26: Laughing way too much at my own jokes!
Day 33: I get to take the Garbage out.
I"m so excited, I can"t decide what to wear!
I"m so excited, I can"t decide what to wear!
Day 40: I realized why dogs get so excited about something outside, going for walks or car rides. I think I just barked at a squirrel.
Day 47: I ate 8 times and took five baths and its still today.
Day 54: If I keep a glass of wine in each hand,
I can"t accidentally touch my face. Who woulda thought it!
I can"t accidentally touch my face. Who woulda thought it!
Day 61: I put liquor bottles in every room.
Tonight, I"m getting dressed and going bar hopping.
Tonight, I"m getting dressed and going bar hopping.
Day 68: Watched a couple of birds fight over a worm today.
The Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3-1.
The Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3-1.
Day 75: Struck up a conversation with a Spider today.
Seems nice. He's a web designer.
Seems nice. He's a web designer.
Day 82: To my husband... Your mission, should you choose to accept it,
is to lacate a roll of toilet paper.
This message will self-flush in 5 seconds.
is to lacate a roll of toilet paper.
This message will self-flush in 5 seconds.
Day 89: Talking to my neighbor thru the window
Due to social distancing guidlines, you may kneel or bow (from a safe distance).
Due to social distancing guidlines, you may kneel or bow (from a safe distance).
Day 96: My fridge just groaned, and hissed at me...
"Not you Again!"
"Not you Again!"
Day 16: People say nothing is impossible,
boy have I proved them wrong. I do nothing every day.
boy have I proved them wrong. I do nothing every day.
Day 23: Quarantine is not a four letter word,
but my reaction to it is!
but my reaction to it is!
Day 30: I put on my nice leggings, I'm going to the mailbox.
Day 370: Can tried to uninstall 2020 because of a virus!
Let's try again this year. It also has a virus!
Let's try again this year. It also has a virus!
Day 43: social distancing: I am sending risky texts just to get my heart rate up
Day 50: I am keeping myself busy.
Counting scraps of paper blowing across the street!
Counting scraps of paper blowing across the street!
Day 57: I am trying to decide my next travel destination?
Las Kitchenas, Los Lounges, Santa Bedrooms, Porto Gardenas, Los Bed, or Costa Del Balconia
Las Kitchenas, Los Lounges, Santa Bedrooms, Porto Gardenas, Los Bed, or Costa Del Balconia
Day 64: I was told today that my test came back positive, but I know that can't be true!
I still have more than 300 rolls of toilet paper.
I still have more than 300 rolls of toilet paper.
Day 71: I just emailed all my friends...
Can we all just agree to gain 15 pounds. That way none of us have to feel bad about it.
Can we all just agree to gain 15 pounds. That way none of us have to feel bad about it.
Day 78: My husband is treating the quarantine like a prison sentence.
Bulking up. Reading books. Refusing to shower!
Bulking up. Reading books. Refusing to shower!
Day 12: I know the virus is scary! But since I have been working at home, I found something even worse.
A 4 year-old dressed like Spiderman perched on the kitchen table behind me.
A 4 year-old dressed like Spiderman perched on the kitchen table behind me.
Day 85: I got tired of my kids barging in my home office while I was trying to get some work done. I found that placing underwear on the doorknob, works wonders!
Day 92: Slow danced with a stuffed animal today.
Day 103: Heard a weird noise coming from under my bed but nothing moved. I said quitely, "Hope it's a ghost, at least we will have someone new to talk to."
The ghost has not said a word. Will update when it does.
The ghost has not said a word. Will update when it does.
Day 99: I sent my husband to the grocery store to get essentials.
He came back with bananas and whisky.
He came back with bananas and whisky.
Day 366: I met a young lady sitting on my couch yesterday, apparently she's my wife. She seems nice.
Day 730: Had a no-nonsense argument with my husband today about our Daughter's birthday.
We were both wrong!
We were both wrong!
Day 100: My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead.
I WAS THINKING
If 24 million people will die when Obama-care is repealed and only 11 million people subscribe to it,
will another 13 million be randomly selected and shot?
It is inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. I am a Republican!
If Democrats don't want foreigners involved in our elections, why do they think it is all right for illegals to vote?
Is it illegal to rob a bank in a Sanctuary City or is it just an Undocumented Withdrawal?
If we are supposed to call Welfare, Food Stamps, WIC and other government subsidies Entitlements. How did the individuals receiving those funds become "Entitled" to taxpayer-funds.
Social Security & Veterans Benefits are paid for by the recipients, so why do the Progressive Democrats believe they are gifts from the Government.
When people tell you, "It's as plain as the nose on your face," then I've got a real problem because I can't see much of my nose!
If Muslims want to run away from a Muslim country, does that mean they are Islamophobic? I've got to quit thinking!
If Socialist Progressives don't believe in biological gender, why did they march for women's rights?
Why is it that Democrat Progressives think Super delegates are fine, but they have a problem with the Electoral College?
If you cannot learn from the mistakes of the past, you must be a Progressive Socialist.
Is it true that if you are a liberal? It shows your immaturity.
If the Democrat Party wants to expose problems with our society Why do they diagnose and apply the wrong remedies.
Their sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which is par for Democrats. All nouns, no action.
If you are disgusted by politics and don't bother to vote, aren't you the problem?
Progressives trying to remove the Second Amendment from the Constitution are blind to those wanting to eliminate those portions of the Constitution the Progressives support.
If the government is inefficient, top-heavy, and tax-mad, it stands to reason the Democrats are in the majority!
Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck! Well, did you vote?
If you are on government subsidies and prefer to remain so even with all of the rules and regulations you must abide by, isn't that a form of self-imposed slavery?
Democrats consider themselves progressive because they want CHANGE... including the guarantees they posseess in documents like our Constitution and Bill of Rights
Half of the Democrats lie with their lips; the other half with their tears!
When Democrats sway voters by appealing to their emotions, is that the reason Republicans lose when they appeal to voters with common sense and logic.
Freedom is something we take for granted in this country, but if we don't resist those who want to take it away.
Then the degree we resist becomes the degree to which we are free!
DATES TO REMEMBER
- Jan 15 -- Sat 10:00 noon
RPLC Organizational Convention Opens
KBobs Restaurant, - Jan 19 -- Tue 12:00 noon
1st Session 55th Legislature Opens - Feb 08 -- Sat 06:00 PM February Monthly Meeting -
- Mar 20 -- Tue 12:00 noon1st Session 55th Legislature Ends
- Apr 12 -- Mon Monthly Meeting - 06:00 PM April Monthly Meeting - Lincoln Legislators
- May 10 -- Mon Monthly Meeting - 06:00 PM May Monthly Meeting - School Boards & Supers
- May 22 -- Sat 9-4:30PMA FREE one-day seminar on the U.S. Constitution
Lincoln Co. Fairgrounds Building, Capitan, NM
Donations are welcome to help cover costs! - Jun 10 -- Thr 05:30 PM, Program @ 6:30
Four Winds Restaurant (meeting room) in Carrizozo - Legislative Update - Jun 14 -- Mon Monthly Meeting -05:30 PM
Jun Monthly Meeting - Sml Business Panel, Press the Monthly Meeting button above for details and to register! - Jly 03 -- Sat -Smokey Bear Parade, Capitan
9AM Decorating - 10:00 Parade Starts - Jly 03 -- Sat 41st Annual Ceremonial Parade, Mescalero<br> 10AM - 12:00
- Jly 12 -- Mon Monthly Meeting -05:30 PM
Speaker - Carrie Chavez on CRT - Aug 2-7 -- Mon - Lincoln County Fair
- Aug 6-8 -- Fri - Old Lincoln Days
- Aug 09 -- Mon Monthly Meeting - 05:30 PM
Speaker - Louie Sanchez, Gubernatorial Candidate - Aug 17 -- Tue - Meet & Greet with Jay Block, Republican Gubernatorial Candidate
12:30 - Carrizozo - 4 Winds
4:00 - Capitan - El Paisano
6:00 - Ruidoso - Texas Club - Sep 4-5 -- Sat - FRWLC Table @ Gun Show
All American Gun & Western Collectible Show - Sep 13 -- Mon Monthly Meeting - 05:30 PM
Speaker - Karen Bedonie, Gubernatorial Candidate - Oct 02 -- Sat - Aspenfest Parade, Ruidoso
9AM Decorating - 10:00 Parade Starts - Oct 09 -- Sat - Lincoln-Reagan Dinner - Doors Open 05:45 PM
U.S. Representative Yvette Herrell - Keynote Speaker - Nov 08 -- 2nd Mon Monthly Meeting Doors Open 05:30 PM
Greg Zanetti, Gubernatorial Candidate, and
Anthony Thornton, Lg. Gov Candidate
- Dec 13 -- Christmas Party - Cree Opens 05:30 PM
Waking up to a fresh snowfall on Christmas morning is magical. - Jan 10 -- 2nd Mon Monthly Meeting Doors Open 05:30 PM
TBD - TBD -- Lincoln Pre-Primary Convention6:00-8 pm
To elect 13 RPLC Delegates to attend the State Convention on Feb 25 & 26th - Feb 25 & 26 -- State Pre-Primary ConventionSat 9:00-3:00 pm
To be held at the Convention Center in Ruidoso.
Place U.S. Senate, U.S. Congressional, and All Statewide Candidates
on the June Primary ballot. The results are based on the 20% rule: - Mar 14 -- 2nd Mon Monthly Meeting Doors Open 05:30 PM
TBD - Apr 11 -- 2nd Mon Monthly Meeting Doors Open 05:30 PM
TBD
Paid for by Republican Party of Lincoln County NM --- www.rplcnm.org --- Not authorized by any candidate or candidate’s committee
© 2011-2022 Republican Party of Lincoln County New Mexico
© 2011-2022 Republican Party of Lincoln County New Mexico